I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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