Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
