The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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