I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
