so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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