I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
