I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Randomize
