3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
