but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
