11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
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