Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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