who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
