I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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