i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
