that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
