she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
