Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
