then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
