You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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