last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
