I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
