Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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