Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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