look no pants
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
