You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
