you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
