if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Randomize