I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
