I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
