I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
where am i from again
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
