OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Randomize
