You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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