i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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