So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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