I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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