Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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