i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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