I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize