were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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