They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
