i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize