shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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