the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
