HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
