Having a random hookup so left but love u
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
