but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Randomize
