I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
