If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Randomize
