If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
