i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
That accounts for only three of the penises
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize