better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
If I had your ass I would rule the world
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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