I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I don't deserve a penis
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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