I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
