I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
