evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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