Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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