Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
My brain says no but my pants say off.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
