I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
