Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize