I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize