I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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