false alarm. still invincible.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize