i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
