I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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