I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
