He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Text me some of your sweat
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
